Linux Free RPG Roundup: Part One

I'm going to start this week with two games: Alteria and Freedroid RPG. Now, neither of these games are technically RPGs. The RPG-ness of Alteria is basically that you can talk to people (sort of), while Freedroid RPG is more or less a Diablo clone starring a penguin. Guess what his name is, I'll wait. You guessed it, it's Tux, how original! Get over the fucking penguin already, it's getting really old. Anyway...

Now, while I really tried to like Alteria, it's just not going to happen. In fact, I've already deleted it before writing this. Maybe it was the clunky, janky animations or the pretty-freaking-bad looking models. Maybe it was the quarter-assed attempt at a plot, or the way-too-dark levels, or the fact that you have to read the online manual to have any clue as to what you're supposed to do. I'm pretty sure it was all that, combined with one laughable trait that both Alteria and Freedroid RPG possess: ridiculous, muffled, barely understandable, home-brewed voice acting.

Now, I'm glad to see this sort of noble attempt at bringing some of the snazz of big budget video games to free ones, but getting a few of your buddies (and what sounds like someone's mother with a cold) to read the cheesy script you wrote up the day earlier is not the right way to do it. Instead of immersing you in the game environment, like I'm fairly sure the developers of both these games intended it to, the muffled, mumbling voices pull you right the fuck out of it almost instantaneously.

In the case of Freedroid RPG, this is even worse because, unlike Alteria, it's not a terrible game. If you're into Diablo, than this is probably your bag. If you really hate Microsoft, this game is definitely for you. Not only does it star that predictable penguin Tux, but when it's comes to the plot of the game, there's more Microsoft bashing than you can fit in one large cookie jar. Oh, sorry, I forgot: It's, ahem... MS, not Microsoft. My bad. Anyway, there's plenty of robots wandering around to try out your weapons on, plenty of GNU/Linux propaganda to be heard when you wander around towns, and plenty of new weapons and equipment to acquire.

So even though both games describe themselves as RPGs, and neither are, both are worth downloading for a laugh (thanks to that crazy voice acting), and Freedroid RPG even has a smidgen of gameplay to make up for it's fairly large download size. One word of caution though: Alteria sucks, you won't like playing it. I sure know I didn't.