Golf Ball Through a Garden Hose

I've been playing FarCry like hell this week, and I'll tell you it's quite the amazing experience. I'm not going to go into a full review here, as there are more than enough out there for anyone who wants to read them, but what I will tell you is this: In most of the reviews I've read the author did almost nothing besides shit themselves over the graphical praises of the game. Don't get me wrong; this is one beautiful game, but that's not all it has going for it.

When it comes to first person shooters, I usually prefer the team or squad-based types of games over the "lone badass taking out entire armies of evil, alone" schtick, but FarCry just nails it. I think what it is that FarCry manages to capture perfectly is this: If you're alone on some fucked-up island and run into a bunch of scary, armed bad-guy types, you're simply not going to run into the middle of them and start shooting everyone. If you don't agree with me, try to think of one situation in everyday life where you could possibly shoot at a bunch of armed mercenaries and expect to see the next time you blink. Exactly. In the case of FarCry, this is equally true. Sure, there are a few "Rambo" moments in the game, but they're balanced out by plenty of stealthy, hiding in the bushes, hoping that guard didn't just hear you fart fun. Now the thing is, I usually hate stealth based games. Like I said, FarCry just gets it right.

I wish I could tell you I have some sort of idea what the multiplayer in FarCry is like but, sadly, I have no broadband and FarCry hates me for it. Sure, most games for the past couple of years "would really like it if you had broadband", but in most of them you can still play online to a certain extent if you're saddled with a dial-up modem. Not so in FarCry: no broadband, no multiplayer. Not even a chance. Well, we've seen the crappy future, and it's in stupid-motherfucking-expensive-as-all-hell broadband. Fuck you, I'm out.