Yvan Eht Nioj

Those of you out there who own a copy of SOCOM2(and presumably the first SOCOM), may have noticed a little "bit" in the back of the game's manual asking you rather flatly: "Are you interested in a seal career?". I'm sure that there are people buying the game who very well may be interested in a seal career, but this poses the question: "Does anyone really want these people to be seals?"

You know, real life doesn't have exploitable glitches. It also lacks the ability for some recently killed person to bitch about how their death was entirely the fault of "lag". People don't "spawn" in real life either, therefore making spawn mining well, impossible. I think you're starting to get my point. There are probably, oh let's say, 3 people playing SOCOM regularly that could even physically pass the tests required to be a navy seal. Of those 3, I'm fairly sure that none of them are mentally qualified to be a seal in any way, shape, or form.

Now, don't get what I'm about to say wrong, I have a blast playing this game online. However, it's almost an impossibility to see any sort of actual teamwork taking place. That's probably due to the fact that whenever I've been on a team that actually tried to use teamwork it was actually just the two guys who were scoring the best ordering everyone else around. And you know what? Mostly every time I've seen this tactic used, my team lost to a bunch of people who were running around as they pleased, throwing grenades around like water balloons. I'm sure there are clans playing SOCOM who use teamwork to great effect, but, even they spawn bomb every now and then.

Doom 2. No, It's Not A Typo.

So last week I mentioned that all this Doom 3 hubbub has got me in the mood to revisit the original Doom games, and I have. Well, I have yet to find Ultimate Doom, but I know it's around here somewhere. I have, however had a blast playing my old copies of Doom 2, Heretic and Hexen.

Yeah, um, so what do I say now? It's not like I'm going to sit here and tell you what these games are about. If you haven't heard by now, then what the hell are you doing reading obscure gaming weblogs anyway, you fucking pervert? Anyway, there is a little bit of new in the stew(I just made that up), thanks to the nice spice(that too) that the Doomsday Engine adds to the recipe(that whole damn sentence, gold). Hey, leave it to me to talk about a source port of Doom like it's a new thing, or a particularly big deal for that matter. Hey, Slashdot did it too, why can't I?

Anyway, the Doomsday Engine, which is called jDoom, jHexen or, you guessed it, jHeretic depending on what game you're playing is basically a hardware accelerated revamp of the original Doom engine that adds some nice things like dynamic lighting that people have come to expect. Don't worry, the game doesn't look like something entirely different than the aging heroes we all know and love. At least not if you forgo the optional high-res texture and model packs. It's pretty hard to look cutting edge when everything from monsters to barrels are sprites that are perpetually facing your direction. Anyway, it's fun, and I'm sure my worn out old copies of the above games are more than happy to see some action again.

Xenosaga Episode 2 Needs No Mention... It's Implied

So basically, I've barely had any time to play any games this week. I've logged a couple of SOCOM2 matches, and I played a bit of Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 2, but that's hardly news. So, instead of doing what I usually do, I'm just going to sit here and talk about some games I'm looking forward to.

Monster Hunter is probably number one on my list right now, and as it nears completion I'm finding it harder and harder to restrain myself from drooling at random times, just from thinking about this game. It's an online rpg, but it's not massive in the traditional sense. From what I understand their will be a central tavern of sorts, which is sort of the hub of the Monster Hunter world, and is basically the only part of the game that's not limited to 4 players or less. The rest of the time is spent, well, hunting monsters. Like I said in last week's post, this seems to me as if the game was custom tailored to fit my, and only my needs. Anyone else playing the game is an afterthought.

Another game that really has me going is Oddworld: Stranger. Sure, this isn't exactly an awful lot known about this game right now, except for that it has some pseudo-western(movie) aspects and is a bit heavier on the action than previous titles in the franchise, but who the hell cares? It's another Oddworld game for fuck's sake. Munch's Oddysee was basically the one reason I regretted the fact that I'll never own an Xbox, and now that another installment in the Oddworld series is hitting the PS2, I once again have no reason to own an Xbox. Good. Like I always say: Fuck Xbox.

Anyway, let's put ranting aside for now. You're probably wondering which camp I'm in: Those who have already bought Doom 3, or those who don't plan on buying it at all. Honestly, I don't know. In this case, I'm waiting for a demo. Everything thing has been too wishy-washy in a "well it's good, but..." kind of way that I'm just going to have to wait for myself. While I'm not sure it's intended, the main feeling I've been having since Doom 3 came out is the feeling to play the original Doom. Now if only I could find those old, dusty disks.

It's Good To Play Together... Oh Wait, That's Xbox. Fuck Xbox.

After seeing the trailers for Monster Hunter, I thought "Hey, I've got broadband now, I should start doing the whole online console gaming thing". It's like somebody decided to make a game solely for me, but to put it online so that I'd have other people to play with whenever I wanted. So, last week I went out and procured a network adaptor, headset, and what are arguably the best two online PS2 games to date: SOCOM2: US Navy Seals, and Splinter Cell: Pandora Tommorow.

I haven't taken either online yet. Hell, I haven't even beat the first level in each. See, I have this sort of... anxiety when it comes to playing a game online. I feel the need to "train" myself in the single player game before I can even think of taking the game online. Even when I do for the first time, I'm sweating and nervous, sure I'm going to do something wrong as soon as I get the chance. So I decided to try to get a handle on SOCOM2 first, it being the less complex of the two. The first mission would be much easier to get through if my A.I. buddies didn't enjoy getting stuck in the level geometry so much. So fuck it, I'll try SC:PT. Oh, it's a trial and error stealth game, this should be... bewildering. Luckily this one has tutorials for the multiplayer, because I don't think I'm going to spend too much time with this in the single player mode. I'm no Tom Clancy fan, and the closest thing to a stealth game I've played lately was Far Cry. It's not like I didn't know this was a stealth game when I picked it up, but I really bought it for the multiplayer.

I'm sure that by next week I'll have had my way with both of these games online, and I'm sure I'll have something to say about it. I'm sure that most people will be busy playing Doom3, though, since it's out now and everything.

Let's Hope That These Lands Are Once Again Eternal

In the week since the Eternal Lands server poofed, thanks to quite a few hours playing the game, I've nearly brought my character back to the levels he was at before the... "incident". That either says a lot about my commitment to the game since the crash, or my lack thereof prior to it.

It was quite the crazy situation for a few days there, everybody pushing themselves beyond the need for sleep or nutrition in a mad dash to become the best at something. Thanks to those like me who A). have other things to do, and B). just don't have what it takes to put so much "work" into a videogame, things smoothed off after a little while. Some players stats took off like rockets, others like mine were more similar to a moped needing a pedal pump here and there to make it up a somewhat-sort-of-steep hill. While some things returned to a near-normal state within a few days, others are far from it, even now. No longer does anyone who's been in the game for more than two days have the best equipment attainable and no idea how to use it. In this respect the power-levellers should be happy, as they knew the quickest route to shiny, expensive, rare equipment and put it to good use.

How long this state will last remains to be seen, either certain items will stay rare and the prices high, or it will drop back to the price range of the in-game lower class. Honestly, I see myself as aside from all of this as the fact that "it's just a fucking videogame" is constantly in the back of my mind while these debates are at hand. Far be it from me to take the stance of the "normal guy" on any issue ever, but while you nerds are crying about your fantasy economy I'll be over here not being a pansy. Of course, I'll still be playing EL with you nerds, I just won't be a pansy about it.

These Lands Are... Not So Eternal

A funny thing happened yesterday. I was just about to log on and play a little Eternal Lands, when I saw a message: "Can't connect to server : ( Press any key to retry." Well, that's a little weird... so my next step was to take a look at the EL website and see what's up. Turns out, the power supply on the EL server blew out, frying the hard drive in the process. Well, surely there's got to be a recent backup right? Wrong. This little message on the front page was my first clue: "Oh, and what backups?". As is turns out, the most recent non-corrupted backup was from February. Take a look at this archives on this site if you want proof, but I didn't even start playing this game until March and I didn't even really get to any good levels until very recently. So, as far as the backups were concerned, I didn't exist anymore. To tell you the truth, I was sort of happy to be able to start over from scratch, not entirely happy with my character's development.

I must have been the only one. The message boards exploded with a thousand posts from unhappy people how had spent too many hours of "work" building up their character's stats. A lot of people even vowed to immediatly stop playing the game, never to return again. Then, something even weirder happened: A debate on whether or not everyone's character's should be "reset". OK, so maybe I did something wrong and was accidentaly reading the posts from the game's developers with my head up my ass, but, to me it didn't look like we had a fucking choice! A whole lot of people went so far as to admit that they couldn't play the game anymore because they couldn't stand not being higher level than everyone else. "Now the n00bs are going to be just as strong as us!", they cried in utter despair, the thought of not being able to lord their high stats over the unwashed masses literaly making them cry tears of blood. So fucking what? If you're so god damned good at the game, you should be higher level than all the "nOObs"(god I hate that term) in no time at all anyway. I guess a lot of people just didn't see it from my angle, and those people are no longer playing the game, thank fuck.
But, for every person that slit their wrists when the server burned up, there were five people who were excited, no, exuberant to be getting a chance at redeveloping their characters. And shit, did they start right away. It might as well have been a race. One that, I might add, is still going on without me as I write up this post. I have to admit, I happened to recreated my character only minutes after the server came back online, and I was one many clammering from rock to flower harvesting all they could to be up much needed experience. By the time I logged off, I was up to level 18 overall, and was notching up quite a few various skills.

Sure, before the crash my overall level was well above 30, I was mopping the floor with goblins, and I had even joined a guild. But, it sure is nice not having to deal with that stupid Hellspawn perk anymore. Confused? Play the game, you'll see. Just don't get in the way of the power levellers, and don't become stronger than those who want to be the strongest. It will only anger them, for there can only be one, and that one can not be you. The fuckfaces have spoken.

UT2004 Mod Roundup Part: Sports?

Yeah, so back to the UT2004 mods. This week it's sports, and if you know me, you know that I basically hate all but one sport. That sport, my friend, is paintball. Don't ask why I like it, I really don't know, it's just one of the funnest things I've ever done. When it comes to golf, I've always sort of admired a sport that has you driving little carts, drunk, carrying around a bunch of clubs. You may be wondering why I didn't wait to deal with Deathball in this post. Well, contrary to popular belief, Deathball is not a real sport, at least not yet.

Sure, Ultimate Survival is not really the peak of realism. It's super fast paced, plays a lot like a few standard UT2004 gametypes, and I've never seen a Skaarj or robot playing paintball. I suppose it could happen. Although, it sure would be nice to have some of that gigantic armor the next time I play paintball. In another ping to the back of realism's head, the ragdoll death animations from stock UT2004 are in place so, when hit, characters react like the paintballs are made of lead. Where it does totally nail the realism is the way the paint flies. When you shoot at an opponent you see where your paintball goes and, more often then not, it's a completely different direction than where you fired. Anybody whose actually played paintball will tell you right away that this is painfully realistic. This mod is pretty damn fun though, and it's a crying shame that there are no servers to play this baby online. Bots don't act like they're playing paintball, but I bet you could get people to.

Duffer's Golf is obviously a much more relaxed experience than the frenetic pace of the above mod. I have to admit it: for some reason, despite never having actually played the game, I am a sucker for golf videogames. This is a damn good one too. The beta only has one course so far, but it sure is a joy just whacking your way around it. The controls are really simple, you can play the whole game with just the mouse. Move the mouse to line up your shot, click once to start a power meter moving, click again to get the right amount of power, and click one more time as your golfer swings to let the shot go. As simple as it is right now in the beta stage: one course, one golfer, etc..., I have a total blast whenever I fire this mod up. Once this baby's got a few updates under it's belt it's definitely going to be one of my favorites.

These Lands Are Eternal

Playing Vendetta again last week got me to hankerin' for a little more massively multiplayer fun, and I remembered that Eternal Lands had recently had a client and server update. It was, in fact, that very same big server update that caused me to stop playing the game for a while, after losing all my hard earned low-level swank.But, fuck it, I felt like getting out of space for while so after spending a couple of minutes trying to remember my username and password I logged back on.

The main reason for the big server change in the first place was that the economy was getting way out of control. Everybody had way too much money to throw around, so you could get some pretty good gear just by being a "mule" for a high-level player with way to much cash to throw around. So, they took away all my shit. Therefore, my first mission was to make my ass some money. Fire Essences seem to be everybody's favorite easy way to make money so, being a fan of easy money, that was the route I took. 15 harvesting and 10 alchemy levels later I had myself some decent enough gear to start leveling up a little bit more in some other areas.

Fuck rabbits and beavers, fuck rats. I'm gonna go hunt myself some deer, yee-haw! Alright, that was a bit over the top, but anyway. The first time I had ever tried taking on a deer, I ended up in hell rather quickly, but that was before I had my swanky new get-up. Bing! Bam! Boom! Fucker went down like a kite in a windstorm. It wasn't long before I was killing all manner of deer, foxes, boars, and wolves. Then I tried taking on a puma and was swiftly sent to hell. I figured I'd better not try that again, so lately I've been taking on goblins. It's a little over my head at this point, but I can slice through wolves like a hot knife through butter and that was getting a little boring. Very recently I've been trying my hand at magic. That's right, card tricks out my ass.

Yes, It's Fucking Vendetta Again. Shut Up.

I've decided to take a break from the UT2004 mod roundup this week, to address a favorite of mine that has recently had some major updates. Sure, I've already got two full posts(check the archives) dedicated to Vendetta, but what the hell... It is my weblog after all, so if I want to cover a game 4000 times you can be sure that I will.

Anyone who played Vendetta six months ago will find a whole lot more to do than the game offered back then. Missions, both combat and trade, not only give you money but also experience which is used to pick up "licenses", granting access to bigger, better, more powerful ships and weapons. That may piss some of you off who remember the "good ole days" when you could get any ship you wanted, whenever you wanted, as long as you had enough cash to throw around. The fact that you just can't do that anymore is well balanced by the new pricing scheme on the ships. It sure is a hell of a lot easier to take when your perfect, brand new ship is blown to pieces by a way-too-hasty player with something to prove.

It sure is a good thing, though, that there is so much more to do in the game. Why? Because no one is playing this fucking game anymore! That's right, thousands of registered users(by the way, I think the beta is currently closed... sorry) and whenever you check out the active players list there are no more than 15-20 people playing at any given time. Couple this with the fact that the in-game universe has grown from a mere 18 to over 7000 sectors(no kidding), it sure is pretty damn hard finding anyone at all. That's not good news for Guild Software as these guys are talking about a summer release for this game. Um, isn't that like... now? It sure doesn't seem like good news for this game. Who the hell is going to play a massively multiplayer game that's sure as hell not massive, and barely multiplayer?

If you read my first Vendetta-related post, you may remember me having a not-so-friendly attitude towards guild software for even thinking they'd be able to sell a game as unpolished as Vendetta was at the time. Now though, I'd really like to see them succeed because Vendetta has turned into a very nice game, a very fun game. Sadly, I can't see how that could happen when only 20 people are willing to play the game for free.

UT2004 Roundup Part 3: Yeah, I Know What I Said, But...

Last week I decided it would be better if I covered two mods in each post, seeing as it would take a very long time to write up all the mods I want to cover if I only did one a week. Well, that was all well and good until Alien Swarm came along and forced me to stop playing all other mods.

Lately, a lot of games and mods have been throwing the word "tactical" around with the frequency that most people use periods. If there's one mod that can freely toss that word about and be perfectly justified, it's this one. Just the sheer amount of ways there are to deal with almost any situation forces use you to quickly figure out and execute a plan, and when your planning pays off it's a damn good feeling. The A.I. for your squad helps this feeling along immensely, they're no dummies for sure. However, if they're just not doing what you want, feel free to take control of any member of your squad whenever you feel like it. Say you want to clear a room of alien scum. You could shepard your entire squad through one door, let the aliens rush you, and hope that your tightly packed squad doesn't get too hopelessly surrounded. Or you could split your team up, maneuver each half towards two different doors, and take on the aliens from both sides. There are other ways you could attack the situation, but I'll leave that up to you.

Now what I was talking about above is just the single player game, take it online and it's a whole different world. You may no longer be in control of the squad, just a single soldier or medic. You could be the leader of the squad, but that's no A.I. you're ordering around, and they may not think what you say is such a good idea. Who knows, a team mate could think they see something, prematurely freak out, and set the rest of your squad on fire in a matter of seconds. Better hope you have a medic in that situation. This is quite possibly one of the best co-op gameplay experiences I've had in any game, on any platform.

Now, if you haven't seen or heard about Alien Swarm yet, go take a look at a screenshot, I'll wait. Back? OK, so by now you know it's not a first person shooter... If you're still reading, do yourself an enormous favor and pick that shit up, you won't regret it. Probably... I didn't.

UT2004 Mod Roundup Part 2

I realized sometime over the last week that if I were to only write about one mod a week, I'd take forever to cover all the ones that have me interested. Of course, there was a fairly simple fix to this situation: Write about two a week. And in that spirit, I'm going to try to cover games that have at least a little something in common. This week's theme: Round based, tactical, squad oriented games.

Upon firing up Frag.Ops, one can't help but draw tiny mental comparisons to Counter Strike. For one thing, Counter Strike was a major player in the introduction of round-based multiplayer games to the general public. For another thing, you buy your equipment at the beginning of each round; much like CS. Then there's the realism factor. This isn't quite Instagib, but you're not going to take so many bullets that a human body would start to resemble strawberry jelly before you go down. There are no health packs, you actually have to remember to reload your weapon, and you can't jump fifteen feet down while putting only a minor dent in your health. Even if you're not a Counter Strike fan, you're going to want this mod for your copy of UT2004. Of course the UT2004 engine looks a lot better than the dated Half Life engine, but where Frag.Ops trumps CS is in the feel of the game. A lot of people complain about (or praise) Counter Strike feeling more like a sport than a shooter. I for one tend to agree with them. Frag.Ops certainly concentrates a lot more feeling like a shooter than fucking basketball or whatever.

Domain 2049 doesn't owe anything to Counter Strike. If anything, this mod feels like a souped up, more realistic version of UT2004's Assault gameplay mode. Where it kicks it up a notch is in the execution. In the standard Assault gameplay mode, one team is trying to achieve a series of objectives (opening certain doors, blowing certain things up) while the other team concentrates on keeping these objectives from being pulled off (make sure doors stay shut, certain things don't blow up...), at least entirely. Domain 2049 adds to the formula by often having both teams tasked with certain objectives while trying to keep the other team from achieving theirs. This can often get pretty hectic, and can possibly result in a thorough pants-shitting immediately after being shot. Of course, in Domain 2049 there are respawns, even if you do have to wait a couple of seconds beforehand.

The bots in both of these games are fairly intelligent, although in a Frag.Ops botmatch once you're out you can be pretty sure that your team will not win. Your once active bots now just sort of run back and forth, waiting to be shot, while the other team's bots do what they were doing all along. I guess that once the bots get used to some sort of direction, they can't think for themselves ever again. This is actually a small issue in both mods, you just don't notice it as much in Domain 2049 because of the respawns. When it comes down to which one is better, that's a toughie. I'm sure most people would tell you Frag.Ops (it is one of the more popular mods out there right now) is the better game, but my personal preference leans towards Domain 2049.

UT2004 Mod Roundup, Part 1: Deathball

I'm sure that most everyone has heard of this mod by now; it's pretty popular, with good reason. Now, I'm not a big sports gamer, in fact I haven't played a sports game since Tecmo Super Bowl on the NES back in the day. So why, I ask myself, am I so into this sports game?

Well, I guess the fact that you can kill the guy with the ball helps. So does the first-person view. You know what the best part is though, at least in my opinion? You're just one guy on the team. You don't pass the ball and instantly find yourself controlling the character who received the pass. You don't plan out what exactly everyone is going to do beforehand, in fact, there's no planning at all. When playing a botmatch, the quality of the bots helps out a lot. Of course, there have been times when I've seen bots get sort of "stuck" trying to use a jump pad that only the other team can use, but that has really been the only bot-related issue that I've noticed at all.

So what is Deathball exactly? Well, it's sort of like a mix between American Football and what the rest of the world calls Football, but with more bloodspray. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a super violent game; you can win a game (at least a botmatch) with out ever having to think about killing the ball carrier. And for those of you who think you're just going to play it exactly like a first person shooter, I've got news: The only person you can ever take out is the person carrying the ball, and they do respawn, instantly. No fragfest here.

All in all, I don't really know what it is that keeps me playing Deathball, seeing as I'm not a fan of sport games at all. But, you know what? I am playing like hell, and I have no intention of stopping soon. The game is just that fun and, as long as you have a copy of UT2004, it's free.

No, It's Not Sarcasm...

I just read on Slashdot that Valve Software has had some arrests pertaining to the stolen Half Life 2 source code fiasco. I'd like to take this opportunity to personally thank Valve for their valiant effort.

You know why? Because I'm sure that if they hadn't used all that time to fish around for the "perps", the events immediately following would have been horrendous: 1.) "P1r4at3s r00l S0ftw4r3z 1nc" releases "h@lf l1f3 2" which, of course, is downloaded by the millions, everyone believing that they are truly getting a free copy of Half Life 2, but in reality... 2.) Every single person with a copy of "h@lf l1f3 2" immediately becomes infected with an unremovable virus. 3.) Said virus begins the process of constantly monitoring every computer Valve has running, including the design document for 2014's Half Life 3. 4.) "P1r4at3s r00l S0ftw4r3z 1nc" waits 15 years and releases "H@lf l1fe E(3)", 5 years before Valve ships Half Life 3. 5.) Rinse and repeat.

Of course: the reason I buy computer games in the first place is that I know the source code is completely closed so people can't cheat. It's not like anyone ever cheats at a commercial videogame. With open source software(or stolen code) anybody can read the code, and you know what? They can use that knowledge to (Gasp!) cheat! No, no, no. I need Valve's ever mysterious Steam to protect me from mean people with too much computer knowledge who like to break the rules.

All sarcasm aside, I don't buy computer games for the fucking engine. I buy them because of the large teams of artists, the extensive testing, the voice acting, and the fucking polish. None of that has a single fucking thing to do with source code. By the way, even if "preventing cheating" by rewriting the code was the actual reason for pushing the release date back, that shit still doesn't take a year.

I never had any intentions of buying Half Life 2 anyway, but now thanks to the double-headed assfuck of death comprised of Steam and Valve's lawyers, I wouldn't buy it if there was a segment where you could run through Valve's offices, guns blazing.

I... Am... INTERFACED!

You know, it's a funny thing: I can actually feel the emptiness in the spot where my soul used to reside. Well, I could feel it until the tendrils of the internet worked their way into this newly excavated cavity, finally linking up with the already-existent wire cluster where my brain used to be. When a machine goes down, I know it instantly. When a site gets Slashdotted, I can feel it's pain. I am the internet. At least, that's the sort of feelings you start to have shortly after moving from dialup to broadbrain... um, I mean broadband. Fuck, I should really find out where in my brain the backspace key is.

At first, there were problems: Basically, the modem supplied by my ISP was a dick. It tried to tell my router what to do and, let me tell you, my router hates being pushed around. The modem wouldn't relent, however, so a couple of quick calls to the ISP brought a new, nicer modem that didn't try to tell anybody what to do. The router was in a bad mood for a couple more hours, obviously the bad-boy modem had said something that hurt router very deeply. After a little while though, router and modem got along like the best of friends, and my computers even joined the party.

First off, I played a 50 person game of Call Of Duty without any lag at all. It was beautiful, I almost wept. In fact, I did, but not before playing quite a few games of Far Cry, whose multiplayer wonders I could not witness while stuck in the dialup world. I started, as I always do, with a simple deathmatch; eventually moving on to team-deathmatch. It was a blast, but not half as fun as the Assault gameplay mode. I must have played half a dozen Assault games before finally calling it a night, and every one was an absolutely awesome experience. There's a strange, surreal feeling I get playing single-player Far Cry that's almost like deja-vu. I didn't expect this feeling to carry over into the multiplayer aspect of the game, but it does, flawlessly; and that rules.

Just to see how fast I could do it, I also downloaded a couple of UT2004 mods(it was damn fast, by the way) that I'm going to write about over the next couple of weeks, so keep an eye out for that. Also, if anyone happens to see an ISP employee with my soul, grab that shit for me.

If I Had A Robot That Big, I'd Never Leave The House

I signed up for that thing where Square-Enix will send you a demo disc of Front Mission 4 a month or two ago and, who knows, it could be on the way. What I do know is that I got impatient, so I picked up a recent issue of Official Playstation Magazine, demo disc featuring Front Mission 4 included.

Just when I was starting to think that Square might have started to go downhill with the addition of that "-Enix" to their name, this game came along and rocked the shit right out of my ass. What can I say? I love giant, badass, gun-toting robots and I love turn based combat even more. This game is firmly rooted in the older-school, grid-style strategic tradition; alongside your Final Fantasy Tactics and what-nots of the world. However, not everything is from the tried and true book of the old-school. Grid-based combat has probably never had quite as much snazz as is presented here, with the camera closing in on the wanzers(giant robots) right before the inevitable exchange of gunplay in a very cinematic fashion. The game's not out yet, and I haven't played any of the other games in the Front Mission series, but it seems like if the robots are customizable enough for my liking, this is a game I'm sure to pick up.

Also on the same demo disc was a game I've only started to hear about recently, Future Tactics: The Uprising. This is also a turn based affair, except instead of the chess-like placement of units on a grid this game gives you some pseudo-freedom-of-movement by allowing you to guide your selected character around, platformer style, until you find a spot suited to your liking. The same approach is used for aiming and, while it does throw a change-up into the pace of gameplay, it's also quite a pain in the ass to even see where an enemy unit is unless you've already spotted them out in the first-person view. It's got a cartoony atmosphere and some bad voice acting, which is not to say that Front Mission 4 doesn't. When it comes to goofy voice acting of the week award, it's a toss up between FM4's stereotypical Italian and FT: TU's stereotypical British accents. Future Tactics is out in stores, and although it hasn't got the greatest reviews, it seems to be a pretty enjoyable title that I may end up adding to my collection.

By the way, next week I'm finally going the way of the cow into the slaughterhouse(OK, I guess that's a bit dramatic) and signing my soul over to the broadband demons. While this means that I will spend my afterlife eating naught but burning hot coals and drinking naught but burning hot cola, it also means I get to play Far Cry online for the first time, and not have to deal with the horrible lag issues with Call Of Duty. Another nice side effect is that I'll be able to download new games and mods a whole lot faster, meaning more reading enjoyment for you: the reader.

Everything Old Is New Again

Cube had a new release this week, and I've been playing quite a bit of it. There isn't really that much that has actually changed, but there are quite a few new additions and tweaks.

The main "upgrade" in this release of Cube is the single player maps. There are a lot more of these puppies than there were in the last release, and the maps all seem to be very well done. There is a very Doom-like feeling that you get playing the new(and old) single player missions that no game now, free or commercial, seems to be capturing as well. It could very well be that most people figure that if they want to play Doom, they'll play Doom, but it's still a refreshing style of gameplay.

When it comes to the multiplayer, nothing has changed(which is good) but there are a ton of new maps. Some of the older maps have been tweaked or added to a little bit, so playing the older maps again is somewhat like seeing what's new in your old neighborhood. The new maps are very well done, and a lot more are making good use of Cube's heightmaps(Terrain) than in the previous release. The one thing that I would really like to have seen done to the multiplayer portion is in the player characters. Everyone looks exactly the same, which I suppose can help people from being ganged up on, but I think people would like at least some amount of character creation beyond picking your name.

Even though the one thing that bothers me hasn't changed, I'm still going to give this release a thorough workout. There are lots of little bits and pieces of niceties that I haven't touched on yet: Nicer animations, waaaay better death animations, and lots of little bugfixes and polish. One more nice thing: Cube was Slashdotted for it's new release, so you'll probably have no trouble finding people to play with online. By the way, for you non-Linux people, Cube is available for Windows and Mac OSX as well.

Gold Plated Turds Are Still Turds

Usually after E3 is over and done with I, being the type of person who gets excited about these sorts of things, read about all the shiny new games and have something to be excited about... Not this year.

The only game that has me jumping up and down like someone who downed a six-pack and can't find a bathroom is Xenosaga Episode II: Jenseits von Gut und Bose, and I've been drooling over that game since I finished Episode I. Far Cry: Instincts may have interested me if my computer wouldn't run the PC version of Far Cry, but I have a feeling that the magic just won't be there on the PS2(or the stupid-motherfucking Xbox). The Final Fantasy XII previews look like someone took a shit on a Final Fantasy game, then painted up real nice and shiny. No more nice, familiar old-fashioned combat system where everyone stands in a line; it's new, it's super, I hate the very idea of it. People who play RPGs play them because they like RPGs, not because they wish it was an entirely different game altogether. Oh, and I could really not give two shits about Half Life 2 or Doom 3. I will however jump all over that Call Of Duty: United Offensive expansion pack. By the way, did anyone notice every single game I just mentioned was a sequel? I did.

When it comes to the entirely new original game front, or at least the ones I pay attention to, it's basically the two Guerilla games: Killzone and Shellshock: Nam '67. Sure, they may be new, but they don't look too impressive. With people actually taking a look at the game in play, it seems like the hype-machine behind Killzone is starting to slow down, and maybe it deserves to. I think the idea behind Shellshock is to preempt the immanent wave of Vietnam War era games and it will probably work, at least from a sales standpoint. I have a feeling that both games are going to sell like hotcakes regardless of how good they are. Oh well, I suppose that's the way it goes...

Ghoul Hustled By A Pool Demon

If an invisible, disembodied presence entirely capable of holding(and using) a pool cue doesn't sort of freak you out, you're a much more brave soul than I am. If the fact that this disembodied presence brandishing a pool cue can actually make shots doesn't freak you out, you must in fact be a disembodied, pool-playing ghoul yourself.

Of course, I'm talking about FooBillard here, not anything spewed forth from the fiery depths of hell. You know, it's a fairly rocking game too. I suppose you have to be a pool (or snooker) fan, but if you are then there's quite a lot here to keep you busy. The A.I. (disembodied hell-soul) works very well, and even will make you think you're about to be hustled by the computer a few times. The physics, especially for an open source project, seem to be pretty damn good and the graphics are nice, shiny OpenGL. There are quite a few game modes here: Standard pool, snooker, 8-ball, 9-ball... I'm not sure if there are more. Either way, when you throw in the "two people on one computer" multiplayer, this is quite a complete package. Although the main focus for this project seems to be Linux, there are Windows and OSX ports available, plus: Even though the source may not be GPL'd, it is entirely free and open source.

Creepy soul-taking-invisibly-evil-ghoul A.I. aside, I haven't found a better game of pool (for free, no less) this side of an actual table.

Golf Ball Through a Garden Hose

I've been playing FarCry like hell this week, and I'll tell you it's quite the amazing experience. I'm not going to go into a full review here, as there are more than enough out there for anyone who wants to read them, but what I will tell you is this: In most of the reviews I've read the author did almost nothing besides shit themselves over the graphical praises of the game. Don't get me wrong; this is one beautiful game, but that's not all it has going for it.

When it comes to first person shooters, I usually prefer the team or squad-based types of games over the "lone badass taking out entire armies of evil, alone" schtick, but FarCry just nails it. I think what it is that FarCry manages to capture perfectly is this: If you're alone on some fucked-up island and run into a bunch of scary, armed bad-guy types, you're simply not going to run into the middle of them and start shooting everyone. If you don't agree with me, try to think of one situation in everyday life where you could possibly shoot at a bunch of armed mercenaries and expect to see the next time you blink. Exactly. In the case of FarCry, this is equally true. Sure, there are a few "Rambo" moments in the game, but they're balanced out by plenty of stealthy, hiding in the bushes, hoping that guard didn't just hear you fart fun. Now the thing is, I usually hate stealth based games. Like I said, FarCry just gets it right.

I wish I could tell you I have some sort of idea what the multiplayer in FarCry is like but, sadly, I have no broadband and FarCry hates me for it. Sure, most games for the past couple of years "would really like it if you had broadband", but in most of them you can still play online to a certain extent if you're saddled with a dial-up modem. Not so in FarCry: no broadband, no multiplayer. Not even a chance. Well, we've seen the crappy future, and it's in stupid-motherfucking-expensive-as-all-hell broadband. Fuck you, I'm out.

Wicked Sick!

I've been spending a lot of time this week with my recently procured copy of Unreal Tournament 2004 so there's nothing free to talk about this week... Unless you count the UT2004 Demo, or those bogus Windows XP-only levels that have got everyone so pissed off. By the way, I'm too lazy to search for a link for you right now, but those levels are available for ALL platforms. You just have to do a little searching around.

Now, I know that the Linux version of UT2004 is not officially supported by Atari, but the question still enters my mind: Why would a company that ships a game with a Linux installer crap out a few levels exclusively for one branch of one operating system? The only answer I can think of: unrelenting pressure from Microsoft on game companies to pull this kind of shit. I, for one, won't stand for it. Embarrassingly enough, I'm currently forced to run the game on Windows XP due to the fact that I don't have enough hard drive space on the Linux side of my box. But, you know what? I still downloaded the re-packaged versions of the levels... just 'cause. Well, that and the fact that I would eventually like to run the game in Linux.

Lame business practices aside, this game is simply awesome. Every game mode is great, every level I've played has been a blast, and the graphics are total eye-candy. Probably one of the prettiest games I've seen, in fact. That is, until I picked up Farcry. That game is just beautiful. I just picked it up late last night so I haven't had much time with it yet. I'll get back to you next week on that one. I'm sure the game will suck, that's why I bought it.....